NO CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!I've busted my ass for damn near a year,Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.And just when I thought that things would get betterThose assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funnyWho the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?And the kids these days--they all are the pitsThey want the impossible--Those mean little shitsI spent a whole year making wagons and sledsAssembling dolls...Their arms, legs and headsI made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!Flying through the air...dodging the treesFalling down chimneys and skinning my kneesI'm quitting this job there's just no enjoymentI'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season.